Look at the Pickle that the pickle people have put you in!
Pickles will kill you. Every pickle you eat brings you nearer
to death. Amazingly, the thinking man has failed to grasp the
significance of the term "in a pickle". Although leading
horticulturists have long said that Cucamis Sativus possesses
Indehiscent Pepto, the pickle industry continues to expand.
Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the
body. Eating them breeds wars and Communism. They can be related
to most airline tragedies. Auto accidents are caused by pickles.
There exists a positive relationship between crime waves and
consumption of this fruit of the curcubit family. For example:
Evidence points to some startling long term effects of pickle
Of all the people born in 1865 who later dined on pickles,
there has been a 100% mortality rate.
All pickle eaters born between 1890 and 1900 have wrinkled
skin, brittle bones, have lost most of their teeth and are afflicted
by failing eyesight... if the ills that come from eating pickles
have not already resulted in their death.
Even more convincing is the report from a noted team of medical
specialists. They found that rats which were force-fed with 20
pounds of pickles per day developed bulging abdomens. It was
further noted that the rat's appetites for wholesome food was